Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sometimes writing race-reports make me feel like a needy child ”hey mom look at me look what I did, I finished 38th at a bike race” (said in a squeaky high pinched voice).
I hope that one day I won’t be at the mercy of needing others approval. I don’t want to be doomed to a life of feeling the need to flex in the mirror and google myself all the time. I don't want to constancy feel the need to determine my self worth based on how popular I am or how fast of a bike rider I am.
I’ve got this counter on this blog so I can check to what degree i am accepted on a daily basis. It is just another example of how I am at the mercy of others view of me.
My conclusion… Race reports are cries for attention. Personally I am using them like training wheels till I can accept myself with out the approval of others. But I'm not sure if it is possible to change the way humans are wired as social creachers who want to be accepted.